Sunday, September 16, 2007

Monday 31st August 1936

This shall be the last day of Shimmering Haze.

John came along this evening again. We took out a punt. I was wearing my no. 5 bags (white canvas) and felt frightfully comfortable. (I knew that Gwyn was back. Why wait till the time of the rendezvous, when the summer would be past?).

On impulse, I got rid of John and rang “The Venture”. Gwyn met me at Bell Weir, half past ten. The riverside belonged to us alone. I showed her Kapai. Guess she was the only one who got a “kick” out of the idea. At the end of the month she leaves Egham. Going to University Coll., London. Wandered back to her digs. I sat on the riverbank; she stood beside me. We looked at the river, moonlit. Talked dreamily of ideals and realities and the past and the future. Reminiscent of the fireside of our beastly old digs!

I got up suddenly and kissed Gwyneth Elaine… (There is a little gap between us – Germany, where Gwyn has been and I have not. Ahead is a huge crevasse – University Coll. We shall not reach across that gap; it will widen, inevitably. She will be different soon. But what the hell does it matter, because I shall not know!) The little devil again wanted to read my diary – yes, this! She offered to let me kiss her as a reward. “You will let me see it – won’t you?” I kissed her - good-night.

When I reached Kapai, midnight was just past. August had become September and Shimmering Haze had become Lengthening Shadows.

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