Monday, March 26, 2007

Sunday 9th December 1934

Having written the notes for yesterday and Friday I now reach today’s.

Just as a prologue; I am seeing Joan on Wednesday. On Monday and Tuesday I go to the Poly. Other certain expenses will be, lunch snacks and postages. Cigarettes? I have 3/6d left – no reserve.

My front piece is a fitting one. “…Known life and love…” A young man came into the lounge where I sat alone. Tall, fair, blue eyes, sensitive. Liked him at first glance. Something told me he was Colin and – he was. I introduced myself; we had drinks together, cigarettes. Talked for nearly two hours. She had told him every thing. How he loves her! If only he was someone I could dislike! But I was at once attracted to him – and he to myself. When he went, we shook hands – he has a firm clasp – and said “all the best”. As I remarked, all our tastes are in common and we’d be good friends. If only Joan could be “twins”, (as he remarked!)

Now, on Friday she may say “yes” or “no”, it’s even chances. A girl of her age is easily moved and may incline to the romantic, new unknown rather than the steady, deep affection. The decent thing to do is to decide for her – on Wednesday. I told Colin that if I kissed her on Wednesday it would be goodbye. And I meant it. But shall I have the pluck? He said, “I shouldn’t do that. Leave it to her and if you’re the better man…” An amusing little trick of fate! Very amusing.

Written 11.30 p.m. Have told Jackman all about it. Good to get a cold, unbiased view of the situation. He says, wait until Friday and he’s right. Of course, I began that talk at lunchtime, feeling in the wrong and anxious to make amends. Hence the sentiment. That’s that!

Question: 1933: I wrote “What will all this mean to me, a year hence?”
Answer : Nothing.


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