Tuesday 5th April 1938

History repeats! For once again, I sit beside a dying fire brooding about a girl. On Saturday, on Monday and today, Pat seemed different, somehow. Before we’ve quarrelled, but there was always caring behind it. But now she seems to have drifted away. She smiles and talks cheerfully but – something is not there. I only saw her for a few minutes today, at lunch time. She did not come to the Elocution Class; last one this term.

If only I knew what had happened! Tomorrow I must go to Colchester, with this horrible feeling inside me. I must be energetic, confident and cheerful, trying to sell. A few minutes ago I wrote a little note to Pat, to ask what had happened, what was wrong? I said that if I did not hear from her by Friday I should know that she did not want to see me any more. Rotten! My whimsical sense of humour can do nothing at all.

We haven’t got any meeting arranged for the future; she did not seem to bother… It is past midnight. But how the time has crawled since I realised she had not come to the last class! Guess I’ll go to bed. A full day tomorrow. Such a long time to Friday, when I shall know!