Tuesday 4th October 1938

Drew £2-0-0 from the Bank, leaving a balance of about £1-10-0. Local calls: 3 glns. order from Strutton and Sons, I gln. order from Chapman. We’d received a couple of small orders from Hadleigh Builders Supply recently, so ignoring our stormy parting, I called again today. No order; but our conversation was pleasant and I obtained a cheque for £25. Glad to get that very overdue account in!

Finished my calls by 3p.m. but it was too early – and in my present state of mind, also demoralising – to go home, so I filled up with Regent Ethyl and dashed to Chelmsford. Went to Garforth and Wellham at Great Baddow. Just in time for a cup of tea in the painter’s shop. (Damn glad I got in with those people. Once such a small and doubtful account, they are going ahead) Ordered 2 glns of paint and 2 cwt ceiling distemper. Called on a new prospect at Sandon.

Battered and Ancient Vehicle “come all over queer” again, blast her. Chug-chug-chug, painfully to the nearest garage. Trouble with the points this time. Five shillings.

A bleak, raw winter’s evening. I have now affected a (rough wood, not fancy!) cigarette holder. Makes a pleasant change, prevents smoking from being monotonous.
Every atom of emotion seems to be drained out of me. Empty.