Monday, March 12, 2007

Monday 27th November 1933

Here I sit by the fire, alone. 11p.m. Dressed in my best clothes and feeling most tragical.

We went to the Cinema (the Cinema!), just she and I. Sometimes, deliciously, our shoulders touched, so I could feel her breathing – Enough of that! Walked home side by side – down High Street, across Staines Bridge, along the road to Egham. Talked of dangerous things. She is not sure, wants me to wait a little while. There was a long, long silence. We came to her gate, halted, spoke. And at the end of that long, long silence, all I could think of to say was – “Then good-bye for the present”. “Good-bye”. The gate closed, she walked away into the dark garden. I did not watch her go. So here I sit by the fire, alone. “Good-bye for the present”. Yet she did not want it so, said it was my decision… ”Good-bye for the present”.

“Good-bye”. Those damn silly words. They’ll keep ringing in my head. Here I sit, alone. Oh, God…why? She’ll maybe call and see me, she said. Alone again. In the middle mist. “GOOD-BYE”

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