Monday, March 12, 2007

Sunday 10th December 1933

Idle beginning of Midnight. Called in the morning at 9.30a.m., was late for breakfast at 10a.m. Shaved and gave myself five cuts. Walked through Egham to the tobacconists. “Twenty Turkish Salisbury”. Then we talked of cigarettes, I was tempted and fell. Bought twenty Camel cigarettes – American. Notice my taste for fancy brands? I have not yet settled down to sober smoking.

Peggy came for a brief talk after dinner. I, as usual… .No! I will try and refrain from the old hurt cries, in future. Forget, instead. But is it possible to forget? I doubt and sigh. And is it possible that she… that I… after all that has happened - ? I must stop. No more heartsick pondering in future. Sober and quiet thought: What will all this mean to me a year hence?

“As a bold rider brings his horse in hand
At the tall fence, with voice and heel and bit,
And leaps, while the field is at a stand”.

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