Monday 16th May 1938

Did not rise early. Left Roedean at 12 o’clock. (It’s been a frightfully long weekend!) Called for the car at 1 p.m. Ready and in good order. The bill was £6-7-4. The engine has a lovely easy purr now and there are no oil fumes. Back axle noises are more noticeable, of course. The car has to be “run in” - 500 miles at 25mph. Six calls today. Two orders. Turnover about £5.

Took Pat to the Pictures. Our fingers did not touch. We talked of anything but love. She had slipped back into her tranquillity. I have failed. It does not matter.
She met a fellow at her confirmation class reunion last week. Went to some school sports with him on Saturday afternoon and to the Pictures in the evening. A server at the Church, a chorister, an ARP worker. Just right for her! She is quite unstirred. The still deep pool is quite unstirred. It is not too late, I could even now make love to her. But I’ve chosen a different way. So I shall fail and we’ll drift apart – quite slowly. What of it? We could not blend happily into one another’s moods, or ways or ideals.

She does not understand impulse. Tonight I felt hungry; so I drove up to a snack bar. Rushed in, bought a 2d mince pie and a ham roll. Came out eating the pie, waving it triumphantly. Pat was not amused. She just sat in the car and said it was a funny sort of thing to do.