Monday, March 12, 2007

Tuesday 28th November 1933

I am sitting alone, beside the fire once more. Worked hard today trying not to think of her. Luckily there was plenty to do. But as I crossed The Avenue at lunchtime I saw her, cycling past. I waved cheerily; she smiled – what sort of smile?

At work I sometimes paused and heard the roar of the fires. They jeered at me thus:-“Your decision – your unchangeable decision”. “Let the oil burn you – what does it matter?” Then, later in the day they became more cynical still, “You tragical fool! Why not have waited?” “Why did you tire of waiting so soon? “Why condemn yourself to loneliness?” I cursed myself and those sneering voices. As I ran home through the dark, each quick intake of breath said “fool- fool”. Now I’ll relax in my chair, poke up the fire and smoke one of those expensive Egyptian Abdullas.

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